Perhaps it isn’t about denying that the substance/behaviour is needed, rather accepting that it is absolutely needed on the level of consciousness that it serves. We aren’t born addicted, rather addictions are born out of immense suffering in an attempt to find even momentary relief.
Maybe it’s about accepting that the focus is always on love and a sense of inner peace even when the attempt to soothe is unhealthy. All we want is to feel better, to feel relief. Abusing oneself in an attempt to force obedience is not the right away to effect the change we want. Rather, we should be gentle and more than anybody else, love ourselves unconditionally.
We choose our addictions because they feel Like love in the most powerful sense. They feel like home, our best friend and our soulmate in the moment. At one point, they absolutely were – Even if they don’t have a place in our current life situation, they had a place long enough that we learned to live by them as a mantra of survival.
Maybe we could love our addictions the same way we love a troubled family member or a misbehaving child. Maybe the addicted part of us just needa to feel what they missed and needs to believe that it could be better for them too… It’s possible to allow those painful feelings to come to the surface because we’re safe now. We can see.