Adapting to Change

Recently my employer made the decision to move the division of the company into the same building with the rest of the business. 

We had been told almost a year in advance but it didn’t hit most of us until it was time to go. I was part of a first wave of sorts and was actually excited about that after awhile. 

March 30 came and it was my first day. I woke up with the most intense anxiety and nothing I or my boyfriend did could alleviate it. I was intent on powering through, but it was debilitating. 

I seemed to find my groove when I got in. There were some familiar faces, some nice IT people and even a few people I’d seen but didn’t really connect with in the past. This was an exciting time, I was about to reinvent myself. 

The first day left me so depleted and I couldn’t figure out why. My job was no different and I wasn’t annoyed by anybody or anything. I didn’t sleep well that night, though. 

The next day I felt numb. I was equally, if not more open and engaging than the day before, determined to connect with people. I ended up overreacting to some negative feedback and sought support from some co-workers​. 

Later that night I was in the car with my boyfriend and something was said that made me a bit emotional. I had let my work stress affect something I had promised him I’d do. After hearing him out, I felt a massive wave of emotion bubbling up. I did my usual “take control, breathe” process but it wasn’t working. I began hyperventilating and had a full blown meltdown. I even opened the car door for air and slid onto the ground. I wailed and wailed for about five minutes. I found myself laughing heartily before I even realized. I felt so amazing, so light. 

It occurred to me that I needed to prioritize relaxation. I needed to take full control of only what I can, and surrender what I can’t. So I have been. I’ve been asking myself for my “girly time”, which may involve taking a bath, taking a nap, writing, burning incense, etc. It has helped so much. 

We think so often that we can just power through and make whatever needs to happen – happen… But you can’t make anything worthwhile happen without remembering to take care of yourself every day. ❤ 

That’s all ❤ I hope everyone who reads this has a great day/week/month.