I recently have found myself in a relationship. Initially I experienced some resistance to this as it has never felt quite this way in the past. It was overwhelming, amazing and frightening all at the same time. I had to realize where I was coming from. Once upon a time I didn’t resonate with experiencing or observing happy, healthy relationships. I imagined they existed, but the stories and turmoil that seemed to come from the vast majority acted as a deterrent.
This situation is different, however. It has caused me to really evaluate the kind of woman I want to be in this situation. It got me thinking about abundance and being committed to the situation. I would never want my significant other (or anyone I’m close with for that matter) to feel like the love I had was contingent upon how I feel they should behave. That’s not to say that they can run over 15 babies and I won’t be bothered, but I encourage and embrace individuality, even if their idea of it isn’t something I resonate with. The way I choose to see it is that life is absolutely abundant. Up until I chose to become involved with this person, I had been experiencing physical evidence of relationship abundance. During the weeks leading up to it, the bonds I shared with friends and family strengthened significantly. I began to take my responsibility seriously, my commitment to those I love.
The interesting thing I’ve been considering is this: When it comes to being faithful as a friend or lover, to do it for myself, not for the others. What I mean is that if I am committed to a relationship, I commit primarily for myself. I may commit to them, but my loyalty is to my standards and what I share with that person. My committment is to encourage, support and believe in their aspirations. To share experiences with and to grow with the person I have chosen. For me, this line of thinking is very effective because it makes me completely accountable for my own feelings. I no longer resist feelings of lack or control, but I simply let them go. It frees the people around me from feeling like I have expectations of how they should behave because I know their behaviour is not reflective of where I am personally.
Perhaps my ideas are unusual, but I feel they are valid. One of my primary objectives this year is to cultivate a sense of appreciation for the process of becoming the most fulfilled version of myself, and this is a huge part of it.