Soaking it In

During certain moments, I’ve cycled in various stages of helplessness. I’ve blamed others, even myself for things that weren’t truly problems. From a scarce mindset however, I couldn’t see reality. I was tainted in my perception of how my life actually was. I built walls around myself, a self-imposed limitation that I was constantly pretending I couldn’t escape. I’d do my best to distract myself to affirm this limitation, but I laugh now. I laugh because I just let go of the last two years by taking a little step. Or, was it really so little?

I recently began really soaking in my current situational advantages. My workplace was always something I pretended was such a prison, such a tragic place to spend my time. This thinking was incredibly exhausting, and I was often reduced to such childish frustration. It was a fascinating contrast to where I am now. For the first time in my life, I’m about to transition into a new role in a professional context. The manifestation of work progress has more to do with letting things happen than making them happen. 

My Team Lead was amazing. He took over another team, which I knew signaled an end to the role I was currently in. Something about his progress inspired my own. I know that he respects me, and I find that more valuable than words can express. Nothing could establish that except the quality of my work and who I am. I earned his respect and support. Realizing that six months ago would have made me uncomfortable, but it doesn’t now. Perhaps it’s maturity, or perhaps it’s just having a keen awareness of a more effective reality. He was integral in pushing me to progress as well. I finally see what good leadership will do for the people ready, willing and able to trust in the unfolding.

The unfolding, that sounds like some pretty high level sh*t. It is, and I love it. I like having the awareness to see, accept and love that life is a mirror. Soak it all in, especially the tough parts. You’re supposed to.

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