My neighbour has stolen my mail in the past. It’s unfortunate, but it is what it is. Since I am enforced with this knowledge, I had made arrangements with a friend of mine where I could have my mail sent to her house and she’d deliver them to me. This friend and I have known eachother for three years and have had many good times together, and also some issues in the past. The other day she delivered a package to me and I was faced with a big thing; changing the balance between my giving too much and wanting to receive more.
This particular friend and I indulged a lot together. When I was in a more addicted mindset, I really went unconscious with eating, and essentially allowed myself to be used. I fed this woman umpteen times. I don’t even want to know how much I have spent as a byproduct of being around her. It’s not her fault, but I was faced with the challenge of facing awkwardness in my efforts to change our dynamic. When she used to deliver packages, it meant I’d pay her a bit and buy her dinner. Last night I relinquished to only buying coffee and paying. It might seem silly, but it was a huge shift. I honoured myself by not just giving in completely, and I’ve also exposed her to a change in how our friendship looks.
It gives her a change to adjust before I begin becoming more rigid with how much I give vs. how much I receive.
More to come on this topic foshizzle!