I’ve reached a new level in my personal progress that has left me realizing that the truth, the true value for me is not at all what it used to be. Well, I can’t say that. It’s not at all what it seemed it used to be. It’s incredibly interesting because I can now look back and chuckle at how I used to see things, but it was very real for me back then.
I find it’s less about it being attached to one particular program, idea or development plan, and more about a natural progression for me. In this moment, I feel much closer to where I am supposed to be. I feel like the most whole version of myself, and I can’t help but tear up just a bit in gratitude. It’s really true, people want progress at the end of the day. All of the distraction and mindless addictions humans may enjoy aside, it’s progress and contribution.
This whole revelation has also shifted by paradigm on relationships. Before I always teetered between dependence and independence, even in the idea of having someone. I realize now that I’m so happy those past relationships didn’t last because they certainly would have stifled my progress. It would have been my doing too, my creation. That switched off completely. Now I’m more peaceful with being alone. I’m really happy to have this time to recede into my own mindset to really create something meaningful.
Therefore, the list is gone completely. You cannot expect perfection in someone, only someone perfectly suited to you in the big picture. I realized, accepted and rejoiced today that indeed race, culture, affluence, etc. doesn’t matter to me as long as it feels right to me. Anyone could go on for days about things they want in a lover, but people aren’t lists. Besides, somehow things tend to work out a little better for me than I expected them to, so I don’t feel I’ll ever have to compromise.
My only job now is to devise ways to really contribute to those I already share my life with. To really push myself into a new level of consciousness, and to enjoy how amazing just knowing this about my life and being able to share it actually is.
At the moment, I’m sitting in a warm, well-lit home that I didn’t have anything to do with building. Typing on a computer collaborating with electricity to help me write this, loving that I have machines to wash and dry my clothes. I have resources, friends, family, a job. A safe place to sleep.
I hope everyone who reads this knows how great things can be. ❤