More often than not, I realized that I tend to look at many aspects of my life as a destination. That very narrow-minded level of consciousness where you exist moment-to-moment, all the while being very in the future about everything. Something I’ve become very aware of lately is that I compare myself to a 30 something year old version of myself. I think. Either way, someone much more accomplished than I think I am supposed to be at this point.
I just turned 22 a week ago and I have reached a new level in my life. On that, I know I have to devise an action plan. It’s funny how you can be so stuck in the future while being stuck in the present. In truth, the idea of being totally present has never really appealed to me. Even when I think back on relationships. Very few moments were spent truly just appreciating my boyfriends. I always thought of what I’d wind up doing with, for, or because of them.
At the end of it all though, who in their right mind expects a 22 year old to know everything? If you never get life right (totally anyways), and you never reach a destination, does it really matter? For the first time, I’m okay with making mistakes. There are infinite possibilities, unlimited opportunities to pursue something new. Sometimes things really need to be shaken up, and I’m just in the perfect place to accept that.