Interestingly enough, I’m beginning to trust that everything is taken care of. Being able to breathe deeply has allowed me to become more conscious of my own thought processes. I realized that I held a lot of tension in my neck and shoulders, something I never really thought about.
I’m sitting here, alone on a Saturday night. A former version of me would probably think something like “This is loserish, I’m 22 years old and I’m sitting at home, alone on a weekend evening. I should do something.” but I realized that I don’t need to go out to enjoy myself. In the bigger picture, the only thing I’d probably be doing in my newer state of mind would be actually experiencing conscious thought.
What I’m beginning to see is that people matter most. It’s not so much every person, but at least the people you interact with during the course of your life. I missed so many lessons because I wouldn’t see the reality I should have. I was doing the best I knew how to at the time, as everyone is.
I don’t even know what I’m saying now. I do know, however, that I’ve come to a realization, a next level in my personal progress; I have to follow my heart. I will be moving to Vancouver shortly, and I’ve already notified my loved ones. What was once a touchy subject, is now encouraged. It was easy to tell them. It was comfortable and felt smooth and natural. There was no guilt, unlike when I was 18.
…I’m not afraid either. I completely believe that because I trust, I will be taken care of. Somehow.