This is more or less an extension of my rant on online dating yesterday. At this point, during my month of being in active pursuit of dating and different degrees of networking, I managed to begin talking to a lot of interesting people. Anyhow, one was particularly interested in me, and I was reduced to only being interested in friendships (which ultimately lead to my closing of my online accounts. You heard me, accounts. I had more than one). This guy, we’ll call him Edgar, mostly because I like that name and never meet them, was quite a gem.
First he was constantly hounding me, like a starved Chihuahua, doing the cute dance they do when they’re trying to feed their carnivorous beings. I usually avoid those guys because they only seem to be focused on sex, which is okay, but more or less not something I keep in the forefront when I’m looking for guys. Anyhow, I agreed to meet him. He seemed nice enough, though damaged from a breakup about a month prior. Without the expectation, we set a time and place to meet. Two hours later, I get a text saying he wanted to meet at a completely different place at a completely different time. So I understood plans change, until I realized that our original meeting place, a central location, close to downtown was almost an hour further away considering the way I had to get there.
He changed back to our original meeting place and time before changing it yet again. I read the text and ranted to a friend about how much more work this was turning out to be when I hadn’t even met this fool.
I replied almost an hour after that, flustered, simply stating “No, that won’t work for me.”
My friend had a good point. I try my best to have a liberal mindset when it comes to relationship dynamics, but I like assuming the feminine role. I like being pursued (at least a bit in the beginning, though I know this needs to be mutual), and I feel awkward when I’m the one being asked out and I’m either expected to pay for the date, or I’m the one dominating the situation or some other uncomfortable situation. Later on in relationships things can be mutual, but in the beginning, I like when men are at least a little more forward.
I never ended up meeting this guy. I figure that even if I did spend my time going there, he may not show up and I’d probably resent him anyway. That wouldn’t be fair for him, not when he could be off meeting girls who won’t resent his lack of meeting time commitment.