Who Am I 30 Lbs. from Now?

I have decided that I want to lose 30 lbs. My reasons range from being as superficial as looking good in the clothes I want to wear, to extending my life by a decade or more. I began thinking, whilst in a deep conversation with a close friend, that I have no idea who I would be at my desired weight.My entire life has been based around some unimportant yet overwhelming beliefs about my weight.

At my highest weight, I was 17 years old and weighed 262.5 lbs. That was December 2008. In February 2008, I had a fitness assessment done through my school, when I was 240.9 lbs. I’d gained more than 20 lbs. in a year. By calories, I’d consumed the equivalent of 70,000 more than the years prior. Whoa. I realize that while on the surface, I may have lost more than 70 lbs, I know that I am still affected by the years I spent quite heavy. For example, I have knock knees from years of my body supporting an unnatural amount of weight. That’s something that will remain with me unless I decide to invest time and money into surgery. I’d be foolish if I didn’t think that sort of thing would have an effect.

I am on a quest, not to find some diet or something in particular that I can try to ‘stick to’, but to decide on and explore just who I am and who I will be when I don’t have the physical and emotional baggage of these last 30 lbs. What will I wake up thinking? Who will I attract into my life?