So I haven’t written anything on here in quite a while because I was really quite out of it. Well, I wasn’t out of consciousness, but I was out of caring about sharing with minimal progress. However, recently something just clicked. You can immerse yourself in ridiculous amounts of personal development material without applying any of it. I think everyone does that in the beginning.
For me, I have recently managed to get a hold of my eating impulses. I used to believe that “if I don’t eat this [food] that’s in front of me now, I might not get to later”, which is ridiculousness and a half. So I talked myself down a little from that ledge. It’s made all the difference by editing the self-talk, I must say.
I took a look at what I was doing. My entire life of weight-awareness – and by that I mean, the entire time I was just wanting to lose weight, I wanted to just have the weight gone. It didn’t really matter about health. All the “good” programs always make it out like “Give yourself reasons for good health”, but health never really appealed. It wasn’t my issue. In actuality, it was my feelings about my life. my feelings about myself and my environment. I was so limited in my beliefs about food. I don’t particularly like any sauces and certainly no condiments, and I didn’t actually believe healthy food could taste good.
Never caring to harp on problems, I’ve actually decided to stop documenting the problem. I realized that once I accepted that okay… It’s not hard to eat every three hours, I do it at work. I don’t feel deprived and I don’t feel like I’m missing anything because I’ve already lost weight. The weight loss is the result, not the process.