Recently my employer made the decision to move the division of the company into the same building with the rest of the business.
We had been told almost a year in advance but it didn’t hit most of us until it was time to go. I was part of a first wave of sorts and was actually excited about that after awhile.
March 30 came and it was my first day. I woke up with the most intense anxiety and nothing I or my boyfriend did could alleviate it. I was intent on powering through, but it was debilitating.
I seemed to find my groove when I got in. There were some familiar faces, some nice IT people and even a few people I’d seen but didn’t really connect with in the past. This was an exciting time, I was about to reinvent myself.
The first day left me so depleted and I couldn’t figure out why. My job was no different and I wasn’t annoyed by anybody or anything. I didn’t sleep well that night, though.
The next day I felt numb. I was equally, if not more open and engaging than the day before, determined to connect with people. I ended up overreacting to some negative feedback and sought support from some co-workers.
Later that night I was in the car with my boyfriend and something was said that made me a bit emotional. I had let my work stress affect something I had promised him I’d do. After hearing him out, I felt a massive wave of emotion bubbling up. I did my usual “take control, breathe” process but it wasn’t working. I began hyperventilating and had a full blown meltdown. I even opened the car door for air and slid onto the ground. I wailed and wailed for about five minutes. I found myself laughing heartily before I even realized. I felt so amazing, so light.
It occurred to me that I needed to prioritize relaxation. I needed to take full control of only what I can, and surrender what I can’t. So I have been. I’ve been asking myself for my “girly time”, which may involve taking a bath, taking a nap, writing, burning incense, etc. It has helped so much.
We think so often that we can just power through and make whatever needs to happen – happen… But you can’t make anything worthwhile happen without remembering to take care of yourself every day. ❤
That’s all ❤ I hope everyone who reads this has a great day/week/month.